Christina: Is Shakespeare British?
Me: Hannah, educating the colonies since 2012.
Christina: Jerk! I totally knew he was British. That's why I asked you! To make sure you knew your own darn history.
Me: At least we Brits have history. You Canadians and your recent past.
Christina: Yeah, we're young and fresh. Not like you old British farts.
Me: Sorry, whose queen is that on your money?
Christina: Like I said, old British fart.
Me: Colony-dweller say whut?
Christina: I believe it's 'what.' Jeeze, for a person who claims to know 'proper English' you sure do suck at spelling!
Me: I was using pidgin English so you'd understand seeing as that's what you speak.
Christina: Says the girl taking pictures of Justin Bieber.
Me: I'm just trying to engage with you weird Americans. Sorry, Canadians.
Christina: Why? We were hoping you'd just quite and leave our country.
Me: The British Empire will never quit.
Christina: Really? Cuz from where I'm standing, you already did.
Me: WE OWN YOU!
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