The One Where Fall Semester Finishes With Joy

 

I like bright lights.

I like puppies.

 

In the bleak midwinter.

Flash Nog is my hero.

 

Hearting life.

Flash Nog is still my hero.

 

High fiving Cooper.

Chilly.

 



The One With Goodbyes, Permanent and Temporary

Be the Pig.

I am one day away from finishing this semester, and whilst I am tremendously excited for a quintessentially English Christmas, it does mean that I have to say goodbye to people here in Canada, and some of them for probably forever.



Cereal snackers.

The first goodbye came courtesy of my Women in North American Christianity exam which was made hilariously fun by Emily and Christina who brought in their cereal snacks and happily chomped away at them for three hours. Combined with Prof Anderson being her usual gem-like self and drawing, (badly), pictures on the black board. Firstly, she wrote The Breakfast Poem complete with a little piggy. What is The Breakfast Poem I hear you cry? Well: 'The Chicken contributes, but the Pig gives his all. Be the Pig.' It's something vaguely motivational to spur us on to do our very best in our exam. Although can't help but feel it came a bit late in the game, ten minutes before an exam! Exams here are fundamentally chilled. Walk in whenever you want, choose whatever seat you want, leave whenever you want - it's a far cry from the frankly frightening exam regime Exeter forces you through twice yearly. But, at lunch afterwards, it was really sad having to say goodbye to Emily, because I might never see her again. But Facebook is a wonderful thing!

The second goodbye was to my favourite fellow exchange students, Lisanne, Yvet and Lihan, the Aussie who likes to have post-colonial banter and diss the Queen. (God save the Queen.) It's weird to think that they're not going to be here next semester - and that they'll be somewhere warm and sunny whilst I try not to get into an ice-induced coma.

Sam and Cooper.

Goodbye number three was to Julia at church, and that definitely is just a temporary goodbye because I'll see her next semester, and should God decide anything else, we'll most certainly hang out in eternity. That's despite whether she likes it or not, because I love her and love spending time with her. Just the thought of Julia puts a smile on my face. She also did some pretty epic praying in Jesus' name this morning - that girl is annointed!

And the last goodbye was probably the hardest. Sam, whose epithet from me is the favourite Canadian, is moving home at the end of this semester to finish off her degree at Trent University. Sam has been so amazingly wonderful and kind to me over the semester. From putting up with me breaking classroom etiquette and sitting next to her in class, to trying to steal her dog from outside Subway, to decorating her apartment in Happy Birthday banners, to Disney Scene It Two championships. She is the favourite Canadian and I feel blessed and over-joyed to have met her. Cooper wasn't a negative to the friendship, but Sam was the best thing ever.

Definitely not acting out The Lion King...

The One With A Winter Wonderland

Confederation Park and the surrounding area has been lit up brightly and beautifully, so I kissed my toes and noses goodbye in order to freeze to death in stunning surroundings.

Favourite tree.

Favourite frozen fountain.

Favourite pose.

Favourite time of the year.

The One With An Impromptu Sleepover

Flash Nog!

I've made a new friend. His name is Flash Nog. He's a beanie baby hamster which belongs to Christina, and I got the absolutely privilege of spending the night with him. And Christina. I don't know how to adeptly describe Christina; basically, imagine the funniest, most compassionate, passionate, excited, beautiful, generous person ever and multiply it by twenty thousand and you're still way way off the mark of Christina. She is wonderful and I adore her!

Truth.

On Tuesday, she invited me to the young adults group at her church as well as buying me ice cream which just makes her a total winner in my eyes. Having said that, she also attacked my eyebrows before hand which she is wont to do whenever I go to her room. I should probably remember that and apply magic numbing cream on my face in anticipation of going to see her. Church was utterly brilliant, and it was so needed to just have time to soak in the Saviour's love. Furthermore, I also had someone prophesy over me and I feel so totally blessed by God's generosity.

Despite having a final the very next day, Christina would not take no for an answer about me sleeping over on Tuesday evening. There is nothing more wonderful than spontanaity, apart from late night, honest, emotional prayer sessions with phenomenal friends.

And part of being friends meant me getting Christina up at 6am so she could study, with Flash Nog's help, of course!

Flash Nog the geek.

The One With Lots of Lights

Hand-down-bra as effective warmer.

Different countries have different ways of celebrating different things; the start of the Christmas season is celebrated in Canada with the impressive illumination of landmarks across the country, with celebrations taking place in the capitals of each province and territory. Being in the capital of all capitals, Canada, the illumination ceremony at Parliament Hill is a massive deal, and is utterly spectaculour. On reflection, I probably should have dressed better for the occasion.! I think may knees were in danger of frostbite. Furthermore, at one point I needed to stick my hands down my bra for an emergency heat up because my special Canada mittens weren't doing their job properly. At least it was still dark, so no-one really saw!

Sickly sweet choir.

The atmosphere was like that at a UK Bonfire Night celebration, except sans-extortionate prices and antisocial behaviour. I'm talking free hot chocolate, free beaver tails and free candles. Although the pesky winter wind made the candle situation somewhat unsuccessful. It was such a lovely family atmosphere, although you could tell there was Anglophone/Francophone tension. But there is nothing more adorable than a small child in a full on thermal onesie, forced to toddle like an obese starfish.

Canada has the potential to be somewhat...kitsch. I mean that in a loving way, but it really is rather kitsch! The emcees for the evening had this nauseating quality, and the (bronze-medal winning) show choir brought a whole new meaning to saccarine. Remember when the Glee choir was awful in the Pilot? This choir was a hundred times worse. But kudos for the switching in and out of English to French in the middle of lines. But did you really have to sing a carol slowed to an unbearable pace when we were all freezing?

Never say no to a free beaver tail.

Considering this is Ottawa, there could have been more effort made with the guests of honour. Instead we got some politicians and the vice-president of the sponsors, and those Canadians didn't give a hoot. I think one person in the entire crowd applauded. One of the lovely moments was when they broadcast messages from each of the provinces and territories, with messages of happy Christmas/holidays/Hannakah/new year etc, and the territories all wished it in their native languages - nice touch. I have to say though, the emcees talked a lot about unity within Canada, and I couldn't help but think of George Sioui, my prof and the stories from his life as First Nations in Canada. I don't think there's unity in Canada, sorry.

Lights, camera - action!

The lights are fantastic! The ones in Confederation Park are the most beautiful ones in the entire city. They're so colourful and warm and they've been arranged so magnificently. There is this magical feel to it. Plus, late night walks with snow falling and it's like you're caught in a rainstorm of stars.

Other exciting things this week have been a poetry reading evening from a class on undergrad creative writers. Some were pretentious, some were just awful and one or two were great. Such is creative writing! Prof Mayne gave a reading of the Blue Couch and it was as hilarious as the first time I heard it. And today I went to the library and played throw and catch with Gabby across the computers. Because we are childish.

And now, for exams.

The One Where it's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Flag's first outing!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Snow is falling, all around us. The weather outside is frightful. And other related Christmas cliches. And it is wonderful! Looming finals make it less wonderful, but Christmas-related procrastination makes the study part of study abroad that bit more bearable. First of all, I got my first two signatures on my third year abroad flag from Emily and Devon. It's super weird to think that I might not see them ever again! But, thanks to my flag, and Facebook, Emily's delight at my awkard chair situation in WINAC shall never be forgotten!

After attempting to do work in the library, I gave up and went to check out Byward Market and to see its festive transformation. What we really wanted to do was to bask amongst the Christmas trees, breathing in their delightfully wintery scent. However, it turns out the Christmas tree-sellers work on commission, so we didn't get much peace. We ended up having to hide from them amongst the bigger trees. Nothing angers a commission worker more than a browser.


Nothing, and I do mean nothing, screams Christmas like a horse-drawn wagon ride around Byward Market. I nearly lost my fingertips to frostbite, but it's ok because the ride was free. I don't mind losing my extremeties as long as I don't have to pay for the privilege. Byward Market sure is stunning. I nearly got eaten by the horse afterwards, but again, I don't mind being munched by a horse as long as I don't have to pay to be horsey fibre.

One of the many delights of Byward Market is the Cupcake Lounge. It's like Heaven. Unless if you're a diabetic, in which case it's Hell. I don't think I've ever seen so many cupcakes in one place - choosing just one was near-on impossible. But good old chocolate called to me. I think I shall spend much more time in the Cupcake Lounge!

We are awsome Canadian women.

That evening I went to Zak's because Zak's in wonderful. Christina, in her joyful wonderfulness, surprised me with a birthday sundae, complete with sparkler. Which was mildly terrifying because I thought I was going to get singed by aforementioned sparkler. But the gorgeous Christina and company would more than make up for sparkler accidents!

Ottawa is plagued by freezing rain, which means I have to walk very gingerly so as to avoid broken bones. I think my granny walks faster than I do in this weather. The only upside to today's vile rain was seeing Cooper outside of Mac's and sneaking in some soggy cuddles before Sam came out. I may be stealing her dog before she heads back to Toronto - he's just so gorgeous! He's even gorgeous when he's soaked and making me even more drenched than I already was. I'm just a sucker for cuteness!

Loving life. Joy joy joy.

The One With A Visit To The Emergency Room

Not content with just checking out Ottawa's Police Station, I also got to visit the Emergency Room of the Ottawa Hospital. There's nothing quite like settling down for an evening of last-minute revision and getting panicked Facebook message from Gabby saying that she's had blood gushing out her nose for the past million hours and she needs to go to hospital. Did someone say #YOHOYA?

Now it's time for a smug comparison of Canadian hospitals with the British NHS. First of all, we had to queue to get seen by a triage nurse to assess how likely Gabby was to suddenly keel over and need emergency surgery. Then we had to wait about half an hour to be seen by the insurance office. Then, because Gabby hasn't yet printed out her health insurance card, we spent another half an hour faffing about with money and addresses and the like. But the heart-warming moment when you're named as someone's next of kin is wonderful! Although, Gabs, please please don't let me have to do anything too serious with that role, please!



Then came another long wait. Like two hour long wait. At this point, Gabby, whilst looking super sexy in a plastic nose plug, had gone deathly white and had developed an accute headache focussed on one of her temples. Furthermore, there wasn't any water. Seriously. You can't move for freaking water fountains whenever you're on uOttawa's campus, but for some reason which I cannot fathom, at a hospital in the emergency room there is no water. Quite frankly, it's a miracle of epic proportions that I didn't get blood-stained chunder splashed over my feet as nausea took its toll on Gabby.

Finally, I got fed up with waiting, what with Gabby's deteriorating condition and got us moved into the treatment room. This was, without doubt, where the really fun stuff started happening. First of all, I sang Adele. I basically am Adele. Then Gabby and I did a great rendition of Ten Red Mounties Sitting on a Wall. You'd have thought by that point, a doctor would have come to see Gabby. No. After more hours of waiting, Gabby's headache took over and she lay down on the dirty floor and fell asleep.

Eventually, an orderly came and let us, I say us, let Gabby lie down on an actual bed. To be honest, bearing in mind the way he looked at my tits and not my face, if I didn't have an E cup, Gabby would still be lying on that grubby floor. As Gabby got comfy, muggins here got to do emergency revision for next day's exam in a freezing cold, eerie emergency room. For a place with the word 'emergency' in the title, it doesn't really act like it. More and more hours passed by before we were moved back into our former room.

Then, we met Dr Douchebag.

I don't know what Dr Douchebag's real name is. But he's a doctor and he's a douchebag, and I find alliteration has orgasmic qualities, so I like to use it a lot. Dr Douchebag couldn't care less about hours and hours of heavy bleeding from Gabby's nose, 'cause it's not like that's a symptom of a brain tumour or anything. Then, when I pointed out some of her other symptoms, he gave me the dirtiest look ever. "I'm only trying to help." "Really?"



Yes, sunshine, arse hole, douchebag, really. A note to any doctors: congratulations, you know how to regurgitate medical textbooks under exam pressure, bully for you. But, if you don't listen to the person your patient has brought with the, you might, screw that, will have missed something important. People aren't confined by medical textbooks. People have  medical histories and react to different environments and if I say something about Gabby wasn't right, I am trying to help. Because when someone has been bleeding for hours and freaking hours from their freaking face and I then give you other symtoms she has been exhibiting, it could be freaking well important you moronic, cock-sucking, freaking douchebag.

Never coming back here again.

And then, how dare you, you smug, shite, douchebag, mock us for not knowing what Tylenol and others meds are. For some reason, you Canadians think it's okay to use brand names for your meds. Meanwhile, over in the Motherland, y'know, the country that made yours, we call paracetemol by its actual freaking name.

And while we're on a rant, $650 for seven hours of waiting in a freezing cold emergency room, sleeping on a dirty floor, a couple of Tylenol and the biggest douchebag to have ever gone through medical school, it's a shambles. Long live the NHS. Because the treatment Gabby received was worth, at most, $50; however, because she is this thing called a human being and is therefore covered by the UN Declaration of Human Rights and therefore entitled to healthcare, over in Great Britain, we compassionate, non-morons know that means free health care.

Rant over.