The temptation has been to completely refrain from admitting to homesickness on this blog; but then, if I only ever blog about the good times and ignore the more difficult one, that turns this blog into a total facade, and that would be an insult to all those praying for me. Moreover, to ignore the hard times would be to do a grave disservice to me on this year abroad quest for courage. Therefore...
Hi, I'm Hannah, and this week I've felt homesick.
To be fair, I've only felt it twice: once, when Matthew Cuthbert died and Marilla goes and hugs Anne and tell her how much she loves her. The second time was Friday, on a cold, rainy day, when I burst into tears in the middle of an aisle in LobLaws, the Canadian Tesco. I could have (probably) refrained from weeping by the detergent, but being unable to find toilet rolls, tipped me over the edge. I just about pulled it together in time to hold back from a full-on scream upon discovering LobLaws doesn't sell butter tarts (WHY WHY WHY?!)
After two weeks, I think I am allowed to feel a little bit homesick. And in all honesty, it's not that I miss home, it's that I miss hugs. I'm very tactile. (I'm also fat, which means you can cuddle me and it's super comfortable.) And my friends are very tactile and my mum is the world's best hugger. I think I'm just craving the intimacy of close friends and family when leaning on people spontaneously and just random (but not inappropriate) squeezes are just the norm. To be frank: somebody (who's not creepy or prone to BO) hug me!
Personally, I think there's something wrong with people who don't feel homesick, or who are able to completely detach themselves from their upbrining (if their upbringing hasn't been traumatic, of course). Mind you, I don't understand parent-child relationships where there is an absense of intimacy and hugging. You'd never guess I was an only child from a single-parent family, would you?
I don't feel homesick per se; and I'm not experiencing overwhelming culture shock to the extent of phantom aches and pains; I just need a hug.
And I need that hug to be from my mum!
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